i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.
Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”
"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"
Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock
I bet that is the happiest dog
Just imagine the Avengers going to Ikea, and Thor is the only one who can pronounce the name of anything.
This is disproportionately hilarious to me.
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
*closes fridge door and hears stuff fall in it*
well… sounds like a problem for the next person